Object Dar't

July 17, 2010

an A.D.D. birthday ...

i have been diagnosed with A.D.D. and so has my daughter. when my daughter was initially diagnosed, i remember being guilt-tripped by her pediatrician for not informing her of the diagnosis. according to the pediatrician, my daughter was going to be prone to depression, have suicidal thoughts her whole life and basically have a wretched existence. what a terrible thing to tell a mother but thank God i have an "ADD mind of my own".

truth be told, i did put her on medication for a time "just to make sure." but i took her off because i just honestly can't see it as a "deficit!" i think the deficit label has actually more to do with society's disappointment that you aren't more like them and that you don't fit in the little box they've reserved for you. i survived my whole life without the diagnosis or the medication. so why can't she? and you know, she was even smart enough to ask me to take her off it. she didn't like the way it made her feel!

i won't say that there weren't (or still aren't) times when i had wished to God that i could be a little more mainstream so that i didn't stick out like such a sore thumb. but i think that was my parents doing. they were always accusing me of trying to be different and encouraging me to "blend in" as if I was embarrassing them. after eons of unsuccessful attempts, i just decided to be me and instinctively tried to minimize my weaknesses and maximize my strengths. perhaps in the same way that a person's hearing is acute when they have no sight. and it worked! i'm proud of who i am. i'm a really GOOD person, highly creative, energetic and i've become amazingly self-sufficient! i'm hoping my daughter will too and i suspect she's on her way. i told her the other day that she looked a little freaky with the hairdo she'd come up with. she just shrugged and said, "well, you taught me not to care what other people think and i like it." LOL! good point girlfriend and touche for you!! so i closed my mouth and let her tromp on.

and so, when it comes to my daughter, now 11 years old, i am renewing my dedication as her mother to guide, train and help her harness all that beautiful A.D.D. for good use in her life to come. oh, she's going to get knocked around just like the rest of us. and she's going to annoy some people just like i did/do. hell, she even annoys me but then i annoy her too! hahahah but she'll be ok and i think she absolutely is strong enough to adapt without the aid of psychotropic, mind-numbing drugs that turn her into a ghost of a child. what kind of life is that? a life half felt is no life at all and i didn't bring her into this world so she could live just half a life.

happy birthday baby..here's to 11 years of a crazy ride on the planet with you! let's go get 'em shall we? ;) 

my first-born